I've been thinking about fear.
About it's birthplace, and the place that it grew up, the caves that it still lingers in within my soul.
Tonight. I lay on my bed, pink cotton sheets, staring at my best friend. I tell him my secrets. The "dark" thoughts that make my heart beat quicker than seems healthy. All because a fear of being shunned like the women in the Amish books that I read as a teenager.
He smiles at me. He knows because he feels it with me.
The unknown mystery of family vs. sacred.
I wonder whether my questions are good or evil. Fear shows up.
Fear of places that this journey or that might take me.
I'm tired. Ready for a change. Ready to accept that my spirituality may look pornographic to some.
2012 is a new year.
I knew that I wanted to mark it in a special way. I wanted to choose a word. One word to remind me that there are other things more important than fear as the Ambrose Redmond quote says.
At first, I thought my word was going to be bravery. I talked about it. Wrote about it and even began living it a little.
Yes. I want to be brave. But then a friend sent me the image above. She made it because she knew I craved bravery. Within the many words, ONE stood out to me. It wasn't brave, it was
Warrior(ess)
This is me.
Unravelling the old and embracing the new. This is the year
the Wallflower becomes a Warrior(ess).
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