I'm Not A Sequin Kind of Girl

We pulled into the parking lot and I felt like asking him to turn around. To go back to the safety of our own home and hibernate through the winter.

I had never been to a New Years party and here I was, sitting with my husband in the driveway, about to enter a house that I knew would be full of people

that were strangers.

The host is like a little brother to my husband. But we've not gotten along too well in the past. Perceptions. Irritations. Oh you know how it is. I decided to go to the party because I love my man. And he loves people. He:: the man that knows no stranger.

I remembered her words, a girl that has tried to get to know me yet for some reason I keep pulling away. She said to me,

"Heather, it's New Years, spend it with friends, don't just go out on a date."

I knew that she would be there. She. The girl that I keep saying no to. Perhaps it's time to start saying Yes. To push the nerves out of the way.

You see, I have a problem with bravery.

I had never been to a party like this before. My jeans and nose ring walked into a house full of beautiful sparkling sequin dresses.

I wanted to curl up and hide. (I actually did as you can see in the above photo. I'm the bangs and eyes peeking out from the back of the girls.)

I clung closely to my husband and pointed out how different I looked. He smiled because he knows I'm not a sequin kind of girl. He reminded me that I'm embracing authenticity and fighting against the urge to hide. I've put down my Wallflower title and picked up warrior(ess). He reminded me of that and that now is the time for bravery. Right now.

Be who you are because all the rest are taken.

I am:: The girl obsessed with jeans. I'm succeeding in removing the mask.

And so, I loosened my grip on his arm and began to mingle.

Rachel reminds me that brave isn't a feeling it's being. And so here I was. Just being. Me.

(Written for Imperfect Prose)